lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
