I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
