oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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