they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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