a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize