Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize