I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
