I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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