a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize