accomplished twins. life is a go
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
