break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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