that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
