he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
