So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
