IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
