I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
