i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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