Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
