We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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