the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
