whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
