weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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