What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
