does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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