Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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