I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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