I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize