You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize