i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
