bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
