i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
