Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
