Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
