I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
