thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
