More tranny stories later!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
