Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
