The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
