Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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