Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
