I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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