mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no, he came in my armpit
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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