Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she told me i tasted like america
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
