he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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