you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize