In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the condom got lost in my hair
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
