This is not my ceiling
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
