Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
