it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
