Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If that was your dad, he is hot
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
