her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
