i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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