YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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