Screwed.edu
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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