and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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