i need an iv and a liver transplant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
