Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
