You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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