they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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