I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
