He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
