I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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