where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
