i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
