how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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