I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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