Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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