quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize