i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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