Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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