Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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