He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
