i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
